Patience : a very important virtue to learn. How could we be more patient ?
Patience is the ability of an individual to control oneself in the face of waiting, to remain calm in a situation of tension or difficulty. It is also the quality of perseverance, the opposite of discouragement.
Situations of tension are common :
- within families, between spouses, between parents and children, among children themselves;
- in the workplace, between an employee and their hierarchical superior, between colleagues.
Difficulties encountered in life are also diverse:
- in the academic path, one may struggle to pass exams, to succeed in competitions;
- after finishing school, finding a job can be a struggle;
- at a certain age, one desires to get married, and finding a soulmate is not at all easy;
- in one’s professional career, one may face artificial obstacles, experience dysfunction within the department they are responsible for, etc.
Pope Francis said on February 17, 2014, during the celebration of the feast of Saint Patience: Patience is not resignation; it is something else. Patience means “carrying on our shoulders the things of life, the things that are not good, the bad things, the things we do not want. And it will be this patience that will make our life mature.” Patience indeed allows us to resist discouragement and death, and to remain standing.
It is the quality that consists of enduring the difficult behavior of a person, spouse, coworker, association member, or classmate. It helps us suppress any idea of revenge and the application of the law of retaliation, “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”
Externally, one might think that patience consists of not taking action, but in reality, it is an action—an action of restraint, support, and resilience in the face of adversity. These actions, which oppose any form of complacency, prove that patience is a sign of strength rather than weakness. However, it seems to me that enduring difficult behavior should also involve gently pointing out to the person that their behavior is undesirable and should be changed. This approach, which accompanies patience, requires a lot of self-control and sometimes a great deal of courage, especially when addressing a superior.
We have highlighted that there are many difficulties that litter our lives.
For example, repeated academic failures may lead to the belief that success is out of reach, when it is actually within reach. Sometimes it simply requires changing fields of study, revising study programs, forming new study groups, or daring to ask the teacher or professor for help in understanding the course material. Another case of difficulty is finding employment – what a struggle it is for young people! Here again, patience is required because it is certain that a job is waiting for you somewhere. Perhaps in the meantime, you should learn another academic subject to improve your professional profile or enhance your skills. Maybe you should submit more job applications to different companies. Or perhaps it is through a professional competition that you will find work.
You must be patient, explore all possibilities, and not succumb to discouragement, firmly believing that you will eventually be satisfied. Patience, perseverance, and faith are three fundamental virtues in the life of a good Christian, distinct yet inseparable from each other.
In the Bible, patience means persevering towards a goal by enduring trials or calmly waiting for the promise to be fulfilled. When God asks us to wait for His timing to obtain something, let us not believe that our actions could do better and lead us more quickly to the goal. For only He knows why He asks us to wait. His path may seem longer, but it is the safest.
Patience and perseverance are virtues that arise from faith. It is because we believe that we are patient, and it is because we believe that we persevere. Faith illuminates our mind and heart, giving us direction, conviction, confidence, and firm assurance towards a set goal.
The virtue of patience helps us not to complain or lament when others irritate us. If we sigh and harbor ill feelings towards one another, we will be judged by the judge, Jesus Christ (John 5:22). Knowing that Christ is always by our side, we, as Christians, must cultivate peace by being patient with our brothers and sisters whose faith sometimes falters in the face of life’s many trials.
The faith of a Christian should be strengthened when we remember that God rewarded Job for patiently enduring his trials (Job 42:10-17). Our Christian patience grows and strengthens when we rely on God’s will and timing, despite the harshness of life.
How can we manifest the patience that characterizes Christ?
Firstly, by thanking God. The initial reaction of a person in the face of difficulties or trials is usually, “Why me?” However, the Bible tells us to rejoice in God’s will (Philippians 4:4, 1 Peter 1:6).
The patience of a Christian is also manifested by seeking God’s will. Sometimes, God puts us in difficult situations so that we can be His witnesses. He may even allow a trial for the sanctification of our character. Let us look around us, and we will see people who have grown in faith after painful trials. Remembering that God’s goal is our growth for His glory will help us in times of trial.
Lastly, let us not forget that “all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). “All things” include those that test our patience. Let us conclude this thought with Saint Augustine’s statement that “God allows evil only for a greater good.”
Therefore, “have faith that our evolutionary process is proceeding perfectly. Each of us has a different path for growth, learning, and maturing. Wait for the things we wish and want, for everything happens at the right time and perfectly. When we walk hand in hand with God, we know that everything is fine, and it will only get better until eternity. But we must wait for God’s timing by holding His hand through prayer and the practice of charitable and loving deeds, for God is Love. Let us think every day of multiplying acts of love around us to not stray too far from God’s plan. Fathers, mothers, children, colleagues, association members – all are capable of daily acts of love that allow them to hold God’s hand.
The root of impatience is selfishness, and we must learn to change our perspective. If I want to be a good husband, I must learn to see life as my wife sees it, and vice versa. This approach helps one better understand the other. If I want to be a good father, I must see things from my children’s perspective. If I want to be a good employee, I must see things from my boss’s perspective, and so on. Considering things from another person’s point of view helps us develop a new level of patience and prevents many conflicts.
Three important truths deserve to be well understood and remembered:
- I am human and I am not God. I am not perfect, so I do not have control over everything. Many situations are beyond my control.
- No one else is perfect. Therefore, I should not be surprised when someone hurts me.
- God is in control, and He can use situations, irritations, inactivity, and problems that happen to us to fulfill His plan and purposes for us. For that, we must be patient. Pope Francis said to the Jesuits working in Romania on June 13, 2019, “In the difficult moments of life, we must have patience and gentleness.“
When patience is lacking, one of the following temptations arises: becoming capricious, thoughtless, and unstable; displaying the “omnipotence” contained in “I want this thing right now, immediately.”
These temptations are sometimes disguised in our misguided prayers to God, and we end up saying, “Since I have been praying, He does not answer me; He is deaf to my cries; He does not hear me.” The result: breakups, drug use, prostitution, switching from one spouse to another, from one church to another, resorting to sorcerers and marabouts, crimes, etc. We ignore that God has His own timing!
When we are waiting for something from God, it is appropriate to pray persistently, with patience, with faith, actively practicing charity and love towards others, and resisting the temptation to judge God because He does not seem to hear our supplications. God cannot be deaf to the cries of His son or daughter.
That is Christian patience—a patience that bears fruit by the grace and in God’s time. May those who have ears to hear, understand.